Bri Blahg: What Kanye Should Have Done. Music News Round Up 9/14/09

14 09 2009

by Brian Phillips (@BrianBlahg)

This Just In: Kanye West Is Kind Of An Asshole

Someday I’ll look so stinking old that no one will bother to ask me if I watched The MTV Video Music Awards. I suppose I should feel good that it hasn’t happened yet. The answer of course is no. Why?

1. Are you kidding me?

2. Bears/Packers

3. I was out of Jim Beam.

This morning the blahgspere, twitspere, fakebookspere, etc are all in a spit flying frenzy about Kanye West. It seems he jumped on stage and dissed Taylor Swift about winning some damn award or another.

I will tell you this; Bears fans would have been pleased if Kanye had grabbed the ball from Jay Cutler last night instead. Cripes was he awful. Since I didn’t watch, here then is EMO GIRL with his commentary.

hit the jump for the sad, sad video…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

She just stood there the poor thing like Sissy Spacek in “Carrie” after the cool kids dumped a bucket of blood on her head. What she should of done of course was conjured up unseen forces and destroyed the entire MTV Awards. You know we always think of what we should have done the next day.

Today Kanye’s blahg, always filled to the brim with his tortured thinking, is refreshingly blank:


Kanye's Thoughts

Hip hop blahg Nah Right grabbed a screen shot of Kanye’s apology before the site reportedly crashed due to traffic.


Thanks Nah Right!

And, explaining a lot, Nah Right also posted this pre show photo. You’ll note Kanye is hand in hand with Dennis Rodman and tellingly, a half full bottle of Hennessey.


Kanye West and Dennis Rodman from

And that’s all I’m writing about the VMAs. If you find my attitude on the subject wanting, I point you to Spin who graciously watched the whole thing so I could watch crummy Jay Cutler get himself banned from every bar in Chicago.

Ok One More Thing On VMA’s

Brooklyn Vegan points out that amongst all the stupidity, Matt & Kim won for “Lessons Learned” so it wasn’t  a complete waste.

Since We Were Going To Kill Him, We Filmed Everything

Yeah I’m always rubbing two sticks of loosely related facts together vigorously hoping to start a forest fire of conspiracy theories. Don’t mind me, I’m nuts. It is curious though that they have so much material that they could trundle out a feature film four months after Jacko’s death.

I like the shot where the entire North Korean Army is re-imagined as 10,000 Michael Jacksons:

Michael Jackson’s This Is It in HD

I Need Something Classy Right Now

A couple of weeks ago we reported on the release of Elvis Costello’s widely bootlegged 1978 show “Live At The El Mocambo.” Now Billboard reports that the album will be but the first in a series of live releases in the pipeline. Ah, I feel better already.

U2 U.S. Tour Opens, Claw Grabs Bono, Devours Him, Poops Him Out

There was a time when U2 was really important to me. There was a time when being good was important to U2. Here’s a Pitchfork opening night review of the “Giant Spider Claw Empty You Wallet Tour” in Chicago. I have my issues with Pitchfork from time to time, but this quote seems spot on:

are so massive, and have been so massive for the majority of my conscious years, that new songs seem more like jingles for U2 Corp, new albums seem like the latest generation device from the U2 laboratories, and tours seem like product rollouts. So forgive me if the monstrous stage setup at the heart of the 360° Tour, which kicked off its American leg Saturday night in Chicago’s Soldier Field, struck me as a sort of enlarged version of the gaudy kiosks companies erect at trade shows.

Because The Black Keys Can

This should be interesting at the very least. The Black Keys are pulling in collaborators for a hip hop project. One of those contributors is the very late Old Dirty Bastard.

Spin On Jay Z Show

Spin Magazine sent a writer out to cover Jay Z’s 9/11 benefit.

Feist Wows At Kings Of Convenience Show

I’ll be gentle because I know lots of people dig her. That 1,2,3,4 song by Feist annoys the shit out of me. I’m sure she has other songs, but that one is a deal breaker. Feist guested on a couple of songs at The Bowery Ballroom late last week. I wonder if Jay Z was there?

He’s Joining Some Of His Friends. R.I.P. Jim Carroll

Poet, musician, writer Jim Carroll died Friday. He was 60. One of the songs from his great 1980 album “Catholic Boy” popped on my Ipod as I was doing yard work over the weekend. I stopped and marveled at the cool. I didn’t yet know he was gone.

Carroll is known foremost for his book “The Basketball Diaries,” which was turned into a film back in the 90’s. The Jim Carroll Band song that you might have heard is the cult hit “People Who Died.”

Bonus Coverage. God love You Tube, somebody dug up a live TV performance of the song:

And This Is The Part Where We’re Supposed To Say “No, Don’t Quit….”

Lily Allen says she’s quitting music, at least for a spell so she can be in a play.

Well, Is Trent Serious?

At this point we’re conditioned to not believe artists when they say “this is my final tour.” The Who, Kiss, David Bowie, I could go on and on. They all say it, and maybe they really believe it at the time. Anyway, it was the final Nine Inch Nails show Thursday at LA’s ornate Wiltern Theater. A crowd that included Tony Hawk and Ron Jeremy were treated to a career spanning 37 song marathon.

Time goes quickly. It seems like not that long ago I was standing in line at The King County Fairgrounds in Washington State waiting to get frisked as Nine Inch Nails took the stage for Lollapalooza 1991.

What Was I Just Saying?

The Swedish band that does “The Final Countdown” Europe is making a come back. The only reason I’m including this news is so I can….

Bonus Coverage. Horrible Cover Band Doing “The Final Countdown.” (Yes I know everyone’s seen this by now…)

All Tomorrow Parties Wrap

Rolling Stone has video and reviews of this past weekend’s All Tomorrow’s Parties.

Bonus Coverage. Video of Bob Mould with No Age doing Husker Du’s triumphant “Something I Learned Today” from Zen Arcade. You’ll have to go here. No embedding. It made my spine tingle.

And It Seems I Missed This Too

Seminal band Naked Raygun reunited in New York.

Jack White Won’t Let Me Ever Not Like Him

As I’ve stated previously, I’m a fan of Jack White, but I can’t get away from the feeling he’s manipulating everyone.

Now I feel like a jackass because he’s gone and donated $170,000 to restore a Detroit baseball field he played on as a kid.

We Should All Throw Away Our Cellphones

Glasvegas is talking a bit more about James Allan of the band disappearing and missing The Mercury Prize Ceremony. It seems they had trouble raising him because he doesn’t own a mobile phone. I gotta be honest, I fantasize about chucking mine in a peat bog too. Perhaps part of the problem is that I’m on Verizon and that nerdy guy and all the people in hard hats are always following me around. Fucking irritating.

On With It Already

Massive Attack have now recorded and scrapped two new albums. I’m getting impatient.

Julian Casablancas Is Going Through With It

Releasing a solo album that is. After seeing video from his first solo shows a couple of weeks back, I’m not holding out for greatness.

Bonus Coverage. RCA has vaporized all evidence of that performance:

Weezer Distract You With Flying Dog


Yup that’s the cover of the new Weezer album. It must be good because I can’t decide if it’s the worst or best album cover ever.

Perhaps Weezer were inspired by the Wild Dogs classic album “Man’s Best Friend”:




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